So one of the things they don't tell you about your hair falling out is that it HURTS! Have you ever slept with your hair flopped over the wrong way so it made a weird part, and then you woke up with a sore head? I've been having that feeling all over my entire head for the last two days. So finally, this afternoon, Nathan shaved my head. Well, first he went out and got us gyros, and then we ate gyros, and then we shaved my head. And let me tell you, despite cutting off over a foot of hair and already having lost half of it, there was still a TON left over with which to make a huge mess of the bathroom.
One of the weirdest things I've noticed is that the ends of hair that come out of my head look burnt. Instead of having that little white bulb attached to the end that most hairs that fall out normally have, mine almost like someone took a match to them for a second or two. They're blacker than my hair and kind of fried. I've felt so good (or at least, so not bad) that I sometimes forget what a number chemo really does on your body. At least I know it's working!
It was actually sort of fun to shave my head. We discovered that I have a great shaped head for baldness, and that my head is really cold without hair or a hat. We also discovered that Nathan could definitely have a fallback career as a barber. And it feels SO much better than the constant mild headache I had going on before.
And on that note, I am going to allow my newly smoothed head to hit a pillow, because I'm pretty zonked and Neulasta pain seems to be setting in again (though hopefully this time I can stay ahead of it with mega-doses of Advil).
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Ahhhh... I know this is a relief to you, but it saddens me to know how hard chemo is on you (and anyone else for that matter!). Having seen another young lady go through chemo, my sister told me that you would get to the place when it would be a relief to have your head shaved. Guess you are there. At least you aren't deathly sick - so thankful for that! You need your rest and gyros to keep you going. Wish I'd known about Nathan's barbershop abilities when he lived at home; could have saved me a bundle! Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it was a relief to you and even happier to see your last post and your sexy wig, which looks fantastic! Might see you this weekend.... expect me when you least expect me!
ReplyDeleteI'm back!
ReplyDeleteI called Tatiana and Caleb over to the desktop to "look at how cute Caitlin is with her wig" and because they don't bother to read captions unless they must, they ask, "which is the picture with her wearing the wig? Which one, Mom?" When I ask them to guess, they each pick different photos! We all agreed that you look like a movie star, either way.
I can see why you are (relieved, glad, resigned?) to be in the treatment phase since at some point we all spontaneously combust if our anxiety doesn't fizzle out naturally. And while you certainly look fabulous, you must sometimes feel like you've aged more than 10 years in the last 2 1/2 months.
Not the same thing at all, but I remember the first time I went on a missions trip to Guatemala, I felt like I went in as a 40 year old and came out one week later as a senior citizen. (Life is relentlessly hard for marginalized Guate citizens).
So what does it feel like to be a floating marshmellow - a cool super-power? I have a certain child who is always surveying family members about which super-power they would choose if they could have their wish granted.
Tatiana always picks "flying" and I go between flying and reading people's minds to, when I am very tired, becoming invisible!
Likely that Grandpa will be around today and when he comes, he will be excited to see your "after" photo :).
Have I mentioned that you look all around amazing?!
One more thing - with the current chemo schedule, do you have any idea about which days you may not be going into work, if any at all? I will be in NYC 3x this week but don't want call you if you are at work.
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