I went back to work yesterday, and I'm glad to have some "normal" back in my life.
I also went to see my oncologist (Dr. Maria Theodoulou) on Thursday, and we talked about chemo. Right now, we are waiting for my OncoType test results to come back, but either way we are probably going the chemo route just to make sure this cancer thing is blasted out of me as best we can. My options for chemo right now are two: a three month-long course of chemo with worse side effects (including the baldness), or a six month-long course with easier side effects (including not losing a noticable amount of my hair).
Right now, I'm leaning towards the six month option, but I need to use my Google MD to do some more research on the specific drugs used. I know it's a longer course, but the way I figure it, not having hair would affect me for at least two years (about how long it takes to get back to below chin-length), and I'd much prefer to not allow a few tiny faulty cells to control my entire appearance through the rest of my mid-twenties. Plus, I bet the extra three months are much easier to deal with if you don't have to be "the bald cancer girl" every day.
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Hi Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteYou have too much presence to ever be known as simply The "Bald Cancer Girl." That label would never stick with you!
I so prefer the visual of blasting away cancer cells versus something soft like a pac man type creator gobbling up cancer cells. Eliminating this disease from your life is worthy of the word "blasting" and a million other more violent words!
Getting back to work was a great thing to do. I can imagine that having a typical day feels like a big measure of comfort. Are you finding that work friends are following your blog enough to feel "updated?"
I think that when any of us have a life changing experience, there are always three versions of a story to share: The one for aquaintenances, friends or relatives. Since some relatives are friends and some aquaintenances are relatives, even deciding which version to share can be tiresome!
Be well today.
Aunt Melinda,
ReplyDeleteagreed on the 'three versions of the story.' My coworkers haven't seen this blog, and the version of the story they're getting is mostly that I had some surgery and I'm fine now. Some of the people I'm closer to have gotten 'I had a little cancer thing but I'm fine now.' I figure the more it stays out of my job the better.
Hi Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteI can see the advantage of compartmentalizing your life.
It's your life and you can make the rules. Seems fair to me.
I suppose "B.C" means a lot more to you than its historical meaning (Before Christ) since these days even I think of B.C. as meaning "before cancer."
Today I am so especially mad that this has happened to you - to Brian - to anybody - anywhere - ever!
I feel like screaming out loud to God that "this is not nice - this is not fair - this is wrong - there must be some confusion - I am ready to wake up from this nightmare - I am done being a good sport - bother somebody else - This is not acceptable - I am angry!"
A long winded way of saying that I am sorry that your life has become so complicated that you need to manage where and when you are transparent. Because even though in your last post you mention twice that "you are fine now" I'm certain that nothing could be farther from the truth. You're so much better, but probably not feeling fine.
But I will tell you the truth about something - someday this will all be over and you will be victorious and I promise you that
THERE WILL BE JOY.
Hi caitlin! It's Mia and Eva. We just wanted to let you know that you are such an inspiration to us of how well you handle situations in life. You are definetly our role model! we love you and hope your feeling better. :)
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