So I imagine this must sound kind of weird, but I totally cannot wait for chemo to just start already. I am sick of worrying about what being really sick and gross will feel like and what being bald and fat will look like, and instead just want to already be sick and gross and bald and fat already. Once things happen, whatever they are, I can deal with them, but it's way harder to deal with nebulous bad things that haven't happened yet.
Plus, the sooner I get this done, the sooner it's over, and the sooner it's over, the sooner my hair is three inches long and ready for me to spend more than the average person's yearly salary in many countries on hair extensions.
Oh, and wig shopping is on Friday at 5 after first chemo, if anyone else wants to join the party and play dress up!
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It's not weird. Your desire to just get this over with is totally understandable. I've been thinking of you all week. I'll be praying that things go much better than all the things we've heard about. Enjoy your wig party and try not to get something "too" wild! =)
ReplyDeleteWill find best board game ever. Will bring to S-K. Woot.
ReplyDeleteHot Pink Wig. Thats the new look
ReplyDeleteI would feel the same way - in fact, even though it isn't me I still feel the same way - time to put your boxing gloves back on!
ReplyDeleteThis Friday let's starting counting down the days until you are back to your new and improved life.
(Improved in the sense that even though we were not aware that you had cancer, until this past June it was still there.)
Do you remember what Christopher Robin said to Pooh?
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
A. A. Milne
As I mentioned, I am leaving for Guatemala on Saturday. This means you can count on triple prayer support since these lovely Guatemalan folks really want to help out any way they can.
Carolyn, I'm interested in hearing about your favorite board game!
I'm good at UNO and even own the automatic card dispenser - makes me an elite game board owner, I suppose :)
Hi! I hope you don't mind me commenting on your blog! Jordan ^ told me about you...we work together!
ReplyDeleteWanted to tell you that I am a 3 year cancer survivor! I was dx'd in Nov 2006, had a lumpectomy at MSKCC (Dr. Montgomery) in Jan 2007, rads Feb-April 2007, AC chemo May/June 2007 and 1 year of Herceptin. I have been tested for the BRCA gene, but I was negative.
Biggest words of advice I can give you prior to your chemo tomorrow....DRINK LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER! This will help hydrate your veins in prep for chemo. (I, on the other hand, mowed my grass on the morning of my first chemo on a 100F day and dehydrated myself so bad they almost didn't give me the chemo!)
The A part of the chemo is given in a syringe...they are going to come at you with this giant plunger full of red chemo. The nurses called it "red devil." The C part of the chemo is given via IV. I didn't have the T part (taxols) so I can't advise on that one.
SE's: After the first chemo, you are going to feel really really weird. Woozy...not sick, but weird and spaced out. My chemo facility was right next to a mall, so I made my dad take me shopping after each treatment. I bought some crazy things on chemo - ginsu knives, bronze glittery flip flops. I found that i had that woozy feeling on the day of chemo, felt kind of ok the next day, then kind of crummy the two days after that. They give you really good anti-nausea drugs which help. (Just imagine if you DIDN'T have them).
Hair: I had hair down to the middle of my back, and I cut the pony-tail and donated it to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths before it started to fall out. My hair started to come out 2 weeks to the day of my first chemo. I could pull it out like cotton candy. Your scalp will get tingly and will hurt, so you will be begging someone to shave your head (my sister did mine...we had a party...my dad was there and my sister and her hubby and all the kids...I laughed through the whole thing). It's actually kind of cool having your head shaved, it seemed so rebellious! :D So, in June, I was completely bald...by October my hair was short enough that i felt comfortable enough to come to work with no wig... Now, 3 years later I have shoulder length hair and I have had my hair cut at least a half a dozen times. You will be shocked at how fast it grows in. I took a picture of myself every month until my first haircut... I would say that within a year it will be down to your chin.
Fat- you will not turn into Violet Beauregarde (the girl who blew up into a giant blueberry in Willy Wonka)! :D I didn't gain any weight. (Fast forward to today, well that's another story...healthy and eating way to much, but can't blame it on chemo). Eat what makes you feel better/good.
I found a wonderful support system on www.bc.org. The discussion boards are excellent. I was able to find a group of women who were going through chemo the exact same time i was. We are all still friends now on Facebook.
All-in-all, the whole chemo thing was doable. Don't get me wrong, it's not pleasant, but count down those treatments... They will be done before you know it!!
Please, if you have any questions, let me know! Sounds like you have a fantastic optimistic attitude.......i did as well and it helps more than you can no! For me, I look back and say "did that really happen to me?"
Sending you much support "sister"!
Virginia
I see you in my minds eye dressed as a pirate and brandishing a large and very sharp sword. You stand girded with a red sash, brown suede boots and white off the shoulder blouse in fencing stance, ordering each suspect cell off the ship and out of your life. As they walk the gangplank they sink to the bottom of the sea and you stand victorious. I will be thinking about you and loving you well.
ReplyDeleteHey Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteToday you will be in my every thought and prayer.
You're on my mind and heart and in my prayers even now. Virginia has given you alot of support - how very awesome. You're on your way now, girlfriend! Sending you a warm, loving hug from Ohio!
ReplyDeleteI am wondering how you are. Grandpa told me you are out shopping.
ReplyDeleteYou must feel a bit relieved to be at the end of this very much anticipated day. Tomorrow will be a new day. Rest as much as you can because you have earned it.