Tomorrow I have three doctors appointments - one before 9 for Project Fertili-save, one at ten for a foob fill, and one at 11 to sign some consent forms for a test they want to do to my lump (which, by the way, they are storing in a wax block at the hospital. Cool and creepy, no?).
My Project Fertili-save appointments are actually way worse than cancer-related appointments, because if its even possible, I am even more out of place there than at a breast cancer doctor. Everyone there totally want babies. I still mostly think babies are icky and unsanitary. The first time I went there for a blood test, I didnt even know what I was supposed to be doing when I got there. The nurse asked what I was there for, and with everyone in the room leaning in to hear why the single girl in her mid-20s is at the fertility doctor, I started to cry and told her I had no idea.
After that, I have a puberty appointment at the reconstructive surgeon, at which my foobs will magically grow right in front of my eyes. After that, I have to go authorize OncoType testing on my lump, which will give the doctors an idea of how effective chemo would be. Unfortunately, all these tests have been tested and proven on people significantly older than I am, so the results have a little less predictive value. But we do them anyway, since those are the tests that exist.
So thats my day - dont say Im not keeping you in the loop!
Oh, and an aside - I met with my surgeon, Dr. Tari King, on Tuesday. She said everything seems to be healing up well, and she gave me the final pathology of my tumoriffic lump. Nothing new there, but what I did think was interesting was that on the same side, the lab also found an instance of DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma in Situ), which is less advanced, but still cancerous nonetheless. Had I not had the mastectomy, we would not have found it. It completely reaffirmed my decision that I went the right route with my surgical decision, since had it not been this lump, it eventually would have just been another one.
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I'll be thinking about you today. Three big appointments in one day is alot (actually too much!) for any one person. I pray that you breeze through it all, realizing that this too shall pass and tomorrow will definitely have to be a better day. Here's a big ((hug)) for the day... take care of yourself, okay?
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness - I am not surprised, but still shocked, to hear about the DCIS mass.
ReplyDeleteYou must be longing to have an uneventful day. I thank God for the careful treatment decision you made.
I am sorry that you have had to experience so many awkward moments.
Everything else in life is going to seem easy-peezy compared to all of this.
I do believe that NYU's waiting room filled with fertility challenged women are kicking themselves for not finding a surrogate (like they probably think you are) as pretty and poised as you always are. Even your tears probably validated for them that this was a smart young lady who was "counting the cost" (emotionally) of her decision.
Plus, planning ahead like you are means that unlike 30% of the female population, when you are ready to have a baby you won't have to worry about a dream deferred.
I am eager to hear what you learn about your oncotype. Is type A an option?:).
Maybe your mom mentioned this already but she and I saw the" I am Love" movie. All in Italian with a smidge of Russian every now and then. Most of the movie is filmed in Milan. The camera did such a spectacular job that the dialoge seemed almost incidental. It's a limited release movie so I hope you'll find a chance to see it. Let me add that apparently the Italian film industry must have different criteria for their ratings. It was rated "R" but had moments so intense that I thought an "R Plus" rating would have been more appropriate.
The story line was somewhere between a soap opera and an opera, depending on your mood.
Been to any good movies lately?
That fertility office sounds horrifying. :( I'm sorry!! That must've been so gratifying to know you made the right decision with the surgery. Your docs seem to be doing a great job taking care of you!
ReplyDeleteSo, do you get to keep the lump in the wax block after they are done? haha...
So much on the plate right now. I know that you have handled it all with incredible grace and your usual "take the bull by the horns" approach. Keep your chin up and your eyes on Jesus, baby, for this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteLoving you well Aunt Mary